05.17 Tue

T U E S D A Y
May 17, 2011
Dan Schoenholz

Theme: One of these things is not like the others — The last words in three theme answers rhyme and the fourth one … doesn't.

Theme answers:

• 20A: Built like George on "Seinfeld" (SHORT AND STOCKY).
• 33A: Three-term New York governor (GEORGE PATAKI).
• 43A: Sport played on 58-Downs (ROLLER HOCKEY).
• 59A: Coors Field player (COLORADO ROCKIE).

So so very disappointed with this one. Cute idea, well-executed for the most part — about what I expect from a Tuesday puzzle. If only it weren't for the fatal flaw. (That fatal flaw will get you every time!) PATAKI doesn't rhyme with STOCKY. It also doesn't rhyme with HOCKEY. Or ROCKIE. It just doesn't. But of course you knew that already. I went to YouTube to see if I could find a clip of him pronouncing his own name — ya know, just to be sure — and found this, which is pretty damn funny now that I think about it:

I like to think I'm the kind of person who can go with the flow, roll with the punches, whatever. But it's hard to get past this particular issue. It's a rhyming theme. And one of the theme answers doesn't rhyme. There are times when I don't appreciate a theme answer but find that others do. And lord knows we've had conversations here and on the other blogs about regional variations in pronounciation. But this is a person's name. A well-known, living person who has probably said his own name in public with cameras rolling a couple thousand times or so. And there's this thing called the Internet now? It's pretty easy to check stuff like this is what I'm saying.

And here's the last thing I'll say. WALKIE TALKIE fits. It has 12 letters, which is exactly what's needed to balance out ROLLER HOCKEY. So, no. Sorry. Terribly, terribly sorry. As 11-year-old PuzzleSon would say: "Epic fail."

Ya know what? I think I'm just going to walk away from the computer right now and try to forget this ever happened.

Crosswordese 101 Round-up:

• 37A: One-named Irish singer (ENYA).
• 38A: Kwik-E-Mart guy on "The Simpsons" (APU).
• 72A: Tammany Hall cartoonist Thomas (NAST).
• 30D: October birthstone (OPAL).
• 41D: Snaky fish (EEL).

[Follow PuzzleGirl on Twitter.]

Everything Else — 1A: Half a '60s pop quartet (MAMAS); 6A: Trail mix (GORP); 10A: Messes (with) (TOYS); 14A: Precise (EXACT); 15A: Roman love god (AMOR); 16A: "... pretty maids all in __" (A ROW); 17A: Formal rulings (DICTA); 18A: It's usually returned after ordering (MENU); 19A: Irene of "Fame" (CARA); 23A: Fed. disease research org. (NIH); 24A: Mediocre (SO-SO); 25A: Golfer's concern (LIE); 26A: Noun modifier: Abbr. (ADJ.); 29A: "The Matrix" hero (NEO); 31A: "Absolutely!" ("INDEED!"); 39A: Beef-and-veggies concoction (STEW); 48A: Opt not to be a state of the Union (SECEDE); 51A: "Lil'" rapper (KIM); 52A: Corrida cry (OLÉ); 53A: Script or text ending (-URE); 54A: Comply (OBEY); 57A: One of a matching pair (HIS); 64A: Hurried (HIED); 65A: Adidas rival (NIKE); 66A: Country star Travis (RANDY); 68A: 43,560 square feet (ACRE); 69A: Change for a five (ONES); 70A: Mink cousin (OTTER); 71A: "Survey __ ...": game show phrase (SAYS); 73A: Bright signs (NEONS); 1D: T-shirt size: Abbr. (MED.); 2D: Allies' opposition (AXIS); 3D: Speed ratio (MACH); 4D: Heed, as advice (ACT ON); 5D: Transfixed (STARING); 6D: Lisbon's Vasco da __ Bridge (GAMA); 7D: Portents (OMENS); 8D: Sonata's last movement, perhaps (RONDO); 9D: Frederick the Great's realm (PRUSSIA); 10D: Tijuana treat (TACO); 11D: Prophet at Delphi (ORACLE); 12D: Terrier type, familiarly (YORKIE); 13D: Went back and forth (SWAYED); 21D: You, way back when (THEE); 22D: Honky-__ (TONK); 26D: Grow up (AGE); 27D: Home computer site (DEN); 28D: Elation (JOY); 32D: Computer insert (DISC); 34D: Bloody at the steakhouse (RARE); 35D: Goon (APE); 36D: The NBA's Mehmet Okur, e.g. (TURK); 40D: Decision when the ref stops the fight (TKO); 42D: Ex follower (WYE); 44D: Polecat's defense (ODOR); 45D: It borders Israel to the north (LEBANON); 46D: Sunshine cracker (HI-HO); 47D: Pi preceder (OMICRON); 48D: For example (SUCH AS); 49D: Beethoven's Third (EROICA); 50D: Bloody Mary stalk (CELERY); 55D: Twin Cities suburb (EDINA); 56D: Joins, as oxen (YOKES); 58D: Enjoy the ice (SKATE); 60D: Poems sometimes beginning with "To a" (ODES); 61D: Take a break (REST); 62D: "He's Just Not That __ You": 2009 film (INTO); 63D: Garden site (EDEN); 67D: 12-mo. periods (YRS.).